I know an old woman who swallowed two cats.....

Let me preface this by saying that I have been on a serious dyeing kick the last few weeks. There is always some stuff in the dye pots which I keep in the bathtub. I am super anal about shutting the bathroom door to keep the cats out of the dye. So anal, in fact, that I have been known to rise from a sound sleep just to make sure I shut the bathroom door.

So, that being said, this morning, I was in the bedroom making the bed when I heard the Wife's lilting voice call to me from the living room.

"Honey....I think a smurf has been sacraficed!"

She said it so sweetly that I thought she was joking.

"Ha ha, Wife. Clearly you have been watching too much Xena."

"No dear....You need to get out here. We have a problem."

I whipped out of our bedroom and peered around the corner where I found my beloved standing outside the bathroom door. Behind here, was a scene that looked like the aftermath of smurf genocide. However, smurfs are not real. Real were the blue paw prints sprinkled quite liberally across the entire bathroom.





Though we have four cats, we were able to quickly identify the guilty parties. Douglass and Divino were caught blue-footed...



...and blue-tongued.


Being the calm, level headed individual that I am, I began to scream hysterically at the sight of the blue tongues.

"Oh shit they're gonna die! I've killed them...oh god I've killed my cats!"

Ok so maybe calm isn't one of my strong suits. The Wife thankfully pulled up the materials safety data sheet for mx dyes on her computer and after some feverish reading, announced that the cats might just pull through...the dyes are not toxic. Not that you should enjoy dye as a beverage...they are toxic in large quantities.


I thanked the powers that be that my cats were not going to die. Then, I set off to kill them.
I got my revenge when I placed the cats in the bathtub and turned the water on full force. Can't have blue footed cats running around. What would the neighbors say?

Now, the bathroom is clean, the remaining dye has been disposed of and the cats, though their toes are stained, have not suffered any permanent damage.

No smurfs were harmed.

-Corncob


Dye of the day: Pro Chem MX Sapphire Blue.